Elizabeth’s Confession

Last Friday with Lizzie and Chris will certainly go down as a milestone for a number of reasons but the fact she clearly had reservations about what we’d done put a damper on my euphoria. That she took five days to contact me after didn’t help. The bright spot was that she wanted to see me.

The moment I opened the door to her though I knew everything was okay. She had a broad smile on her face, a bottle of wine in her hand, and a twinkle in her eye. She handed over the wine, we kissed each other’s cheeks and I sat her down in the lounge while I found a corkscrew and glasses.

“Okay, let me talk Trace. I’ve rehearsed this. It’s all good news, at least I hope you think it is, but I need to explain things and I’d rather do it uninterrupted.”

I handed her her glass and said, “No problem. Off you go.” I sat on the opposite end of the sofa with my feet tucked up under me.

“Okay, here goes. I think I’ve said to you before how reserved I’d always been in public, that even while dating Chris I’d get embarrassed even holding hands let alone kissing or heaven forbid feeling each other. After marriage it didn’t really arise. We had our own place and we could do things in private. Not that we did anything kinky. And there was a reason for that. My parents. They were loving in their way but incredibly straight, and prudish. Regular church goers even! My mother would tut-tut at anything remotely sexy on the TV. And by sexy I mean kissing even and as for risqué jokes! Anyway, they instilled this attitude in me. You know how it is growing up and somehow I missed the rebellious part of my teen years so when I met Chris I was a virgin and a very naive one at that.

“Given all that, on reflection, it’s quite a surprise we had as good a sex life as we did. Perhaps it’s because I had such low expectations. My mother had not told me anything so it was only the sterile sex education we’d had at school which gave me any idea of what it would be like.

So things ticked along happily for twenty odd years then you show up. Turn life upside down, lead me astray. Make me realise what there is to enjoy beyond the bedroom door.

But I had to fight that upbringing. Had to convince myself that what I was doing, what we were doing, was not the work of the devil. With you next to me it wasn’t a problem I could even think about. Everything was just fun. But then we all climaxed and suddenly what I’d done — we’d done — hit home. A huge part of me would have loved to have come back with you last Friday. I’ve a shrewd idea what would have happened and I think it was just a step too far for the part of my brain that was telling me I was going to hell.

“Anyway Chris and I have talked and talked about it and I’m now on top of my parent's puritanical upbringing lectures!

“All that is a long winded way of saying when can we have another evening like last week!”

She sat back in her chair and took a huge gulp of wine.

“That’s brilliant news,” I said, “I’ve been worried that you were going to say I’d gone too far and you wanted nothing more to do with this sex mad woman.”

“Oh, you went too far alright. But I enjoyed the journey. I didn’t want it to end.”

“What about Chris?”

“Is that a serious question? He’s a man isn’t he? He’s loved every second of this since that first evening when I went back and told him what you did. I told you we had a hot night and that’s when I began to think ‘naughty sex’ was not necessarily bad.” She did air quotes around naughty sex so I asked, “So you don’t think what I or we did is naughty now?”

“Good god no! Of course it’s naughty! What I’ve come to realise is that that doesn’t make it bad. Not from a personal viewpoint. Just society’s. If I’m honest I think I’ve been moving in that direction for a while. Having a teenage son, seeing the temptations open to him, trying to assess how to protect him from the worst of it, then wondering why he needed protecting. Luckily as far as we can tell he’s not heavily into porn, but where’s the harm?”

John’s doing a good job of hiding things I thought. She clearly didn’t have a clue he was wanking off into her knickers.

“I agree. I could have done with some boys being better educated when I was young. So will Chris be coming out with us?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted a yes or no to that. Not that I could put my finger on why I wouldn’t want him along. It had seemed to make Lizzie more confident I enjoyed seeing him come in his trousers and although not needed last Friday he would act as a deterrent to guys chatting us up. I could only think I wanted temptation out of the way. He’s not incredibly handsome or even sexy but he is pleasant and I feel comfortable being near him. I could only assume I wanted temptation out of the way. Yes. I decided he was close to being on the ‘I could let him do things to me’ shortlist and although Lizzie had come a long way I was aware that might be a step too far. At the moment.

“He’d love to. You saw how much he enjoyed last Friday, but he says he doesn’t want to cramp your style.”

I was puzzled by that.

“How do you mean?”

“He thought it might stop men chatting to you.”

“Didn’t you tell him about my men phobia.” She laughed.

“I did. He didn’t believe me. Said he couldn’t see how anyone teasing men like that could hate them.”

“Hates not the right word. I don’t hate men. I hate masculine attitudes and do what I do to show we have some power over them.”

“Yes, I can see that but he’s a man so assumes all females are at their beck and call.”

“Chris? I can’t believe he has that attitude. He’s one of the few men I feel comfortable around.”

“I’ll tell him. It will probably hurt his masculine pride but tough. So should he come or not?”

“How do you feel about it? Inhibited or encouraged by him being there?”

She hesitated and thought about the question. “Last Friday, definitely encouraged. I was more relaxed knowing he was happy with me doing what I was. And I wouldn’t want to go beyond what he was happy with, but I’m sure I know where those lines are so it’s no big deal either way.”

“Okay so why don’t we make it a regular outing with Chris coming every other week? Gives us the best of both worlds.”

“Great idea. Fridays?”

“Is that best for you? It’s just that the pubs are fuller and rowdier than other weeknights.”

“Okay. Thursday then?”

“Sounds ideal.”

And that’s how we left it. We chatted on for a bit and I’d dearly have loved to have done something sexy with her but it would have been a mistake. She had come a long way, but her body language that evening was not giving me any come-on signs. I’d leave it till next Thursday. An evening without Chris we decided.

As she was leaving we kissed. Platonic, cheek kisses, but then a comment that cheered me no end.

“Oh,” she said, “I almost forgot. Any chance of John popping round over the weekend? Every section of this course now seems to be causing him problems.”

Saturday will be fun.